Rose2White
Wednesday, Apr. 09, 2008

Five Year Deja Vu?

I've been having some real deja vu time this past few days.

You see I've been ill for 5 years now, 5 years as of the first of April.

So why the deja vu?

Well I'm sitting (or rather half laying) in bed writing this entry having symptoms that feel just like they did 5 years ago.

I haven't had flu since I was first ill, and last Friday I got the sore throat and high temps starting, then Saturday it all broke lose, so much so I spent the day wrapped up on the sofa and didn't move.

I suppose the only difference this time is that I feel more awake when I am awake, which is also more often.
I know what I mean; I'm not sleeping 18 hours and only being half with it the rest of the time.

I'm just hoping the cough I have hasn't turned into bronchitis again but it does feel like it.

Hubby told me if I wasn't much better by tomorrow I've got to go to the doctors....

I am hoping that my temp has finally settled down, as I have been taking Chinese medicine since Monday. Mind you I now have the shakes due to lack of energy, that's a first since this started so hopefully it means I'm on the mend.
OK I know there is still a way to go but any step forward is a good step no matter how small.

This has all made me wonder about the ME/CFS and how it has many layers; maybe one of those layers for me is getting thru the illness that sent me knowingly on this journey. What do I mean?
Well, I've been doing so much better lately and I've even been getting fitter, maybe to get back to 100% health I have to go back thru the flu and bronchitis, maybe it's been sitting there all this time waiting for me to be strong enough to fight it again, maybe that's all a load of rubbish, who knows?

All I know is that I was here 5 years ago and I don't want to repeat the last five years again, I want to get back to work, I want to enjoy life again.