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It's time to put the last twelve months behind us and look forward to the next twelve months.
Usually I don't mind looking back over the past year to some degree, but 2006 for me was a year I would rather not look at again if I can help it.
All I want to do is to move forward and to get better during the next year or so.
I would love not to take years to get better but hey, I've been ill for years who said a cure would be that quick.
In all honesty, I wouldn't care how long a cure took if someone could give me a true cure!!!!
I'm sick of being sick, tired of being tired, being exhausted all the time is exhausting, and I just want to be pain free for a while, like the rest of my life......
I try so hard not to complain to my kids or hubby about how bad I'm feeling, people see me and ask the "how are you?" question and I answer "ok" or "not too bad thanks" just because they really don't want to know and I really don't want to think about it.
Suffering is easiest done when you just get on with it, you just take each day as it comes and do one day at a time.
The problem is I can't do that or I'll end up doing myself in, I have to plan days out weeks in advance, I have to have days of rest before and after the event.
Rest from what? I don't do anything, I can't!!!!
The truth is I have to work up to big events such as Christmas, birthdays and especially holidays.
Then as I'm in the mist of working up to Christmas, the death happens and I go into overdrive, just as I did when my dad died.
You throw plans and rest times out of the window and just do.......
I spent two weeks of just doing, but everything was funeral stuff so by the 19th December I was two weeks behind on Christmas, so I then spent the last few days doing three weeks of Christmas stuff in one go, it's no wonder I was hanging on by a thread on Boxing Day (26th Dec).
When it came to New Years Eve, I ended up staying in having a quiet night instead of being out with friends.
I don't want to miss out on New Year Eve again, so this year I am going to plan things differently, I will have Christmas wrapped up by the 7th December if I can, all cards will be written and posted in November along with as many gifts that I need to send as I can.
I have friend’s birthdays in early December, so I may pack their Christmas presents with their Birthday ones, I'll have to see.
But either way I plan to have their gifts bought and wrapped before the end of November, so that December is easier for me this year than it was last year.
I hope to make a lot of cards this year as well, so I think I'll make the cards with the person they are going to in mind, then I can write the cards and put them away till November for posting.
Until then I need to write to a few people to explain why no cards were sent this year, some have no idea I was at my father-in-laws funeral a week before Christmas.
Roll on 2007 may you shine in every way possible.