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I thought it was about how as a person I love to feel liked, and I hate letting people down or out staying my welcome, yet out stay it I seem to!
I don't get subtle hints from people, I never have, and when I say 'I must go and let you get on' and that person then says 'don't be silly you are welcome to stay, would you like another cup of tea (glass of wine, or whatever)' I stay as I then feel bad about leaving as they obviously don't want me to go.
Well I used to have a neighbor just like that, then when she moved she told the new neighbor that she could never get rid of me???
Well I have new neighbors now that are just the same, & I don't want to feel like I am the pain from next door who you can't get rid of!!
Who would want to be that pain?
But having said all of the above, we have been so busy that I haven't had time to think about it, yet still I am down???
At the end of the month I am going out for a night, which is something rare for me. This is the first night out this year where I am not going to a friends house, or to watch hubby do his racing.
Hubby & I are off to the Mayor's Masked Ball, so we will be in a room surrounded by people, with a buffet a live band, and four of our closest friends, so it should be a great night.
I have hired a dress, daughter is making us all proper masks, and yet I sat there last night after everyone had gone to bed and all I wanted to do was cry.
I really didn't want to go to the ball at all last night. I was dreading every minute of the night to come.
The night that should be the best night of this and last year, and maybe next year as well......
I'm still not sure if I really want to do this and I don't know why, I love getting dressed up, I have a fabulous dress, I have the hairdresser booked, I should feel a million dollars on the day, yet here I am dreading the thought of it all.
I think my mask will go all wrong, I won't be able to get the shoes and underwear I need.
I know this is stupid, and I can't make any sense of it at all, I just know I feel really down.
I'll have a chat with my TCM lady who does my acupuncture and see if she can help, she helps with everything else....