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My biggest question is am I ready for the fight ahead?
It took me so long to get my DLA in the first place, with loads of grief and phone calls, along with medicals and prolonged waiting for an answer. So much so that I applied at the end of May in 2005 and finally got an answer in Jan 2006.
I do hope they can give me an answer quicker this time as my award expires in Nov 06, and I really don't want to have this fight hanging over my head all over Christmas again.
Why do we have to go through so much trauma for something we should be getting, yet it is as if we are not believed about anything, and even what we tell our doctors is questioned as if our own doctors can't tell if we are lying.
It's bad enough that some doctors won't believe you and think that this illness is all in our heads, to have the benefits people question everything twice over as well.
I suppose the real question is; 'is the fight worth the end result?'
For me at the start of this battle, I don't know if it is, but if I don't try then I have given in to the wishes of the DWP before I even start.
I know the DWP don't want to pay me unless they really have to, so they are going to make applying and getting DLA as hard as they can, the trouble is that those of us who really need it find it the hardest thing to do.
Do I have the strength for this?
I don't have the strength to wash my own hair, what makes you think I have the strength to fight for what I deserve?
I am worried that the stress of it all will make my health worse.
I am just managing to get my self on an even footing in the hope to start the up hill struggle to health, I don't really want to be sent back ward's again before I get anywhere.
Lets just hope that they answer my claim award quickly and in a good way so I don't have to fight for it again.
I still remember one of the questions from my first appeal, the answer upsets me still.
The question was 'what do I do with my children' as in days out or fun times etc.
The answer was we watch TV together, and that's about it. Things have changed since I've been getting DLA as I now have my own wheelchair and we go to a local seaside town and the kids or hubby push me round the Sunday market and sometime we go along the beach front and watch the sea as the kids skim stones or run on the beach.
I wish I could do so much more with them, but such is life.
I love my kids and it is for them I will fight on as with DLA I can afford things for them as well as for me, even if it is only a pizza or meal out every now and then.
I love you kids, thank you for being there for me, and I love you too hubby I just wish you wasn't suffering and things where all well for you.
Love & hugs -x-x-x-